


I care because I love you

by FindMyWayBack



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Blushing, Comforting Derek, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Stiles, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nogitsune Trauma, Post-Nogitsune, Stiles Has Nightmares, Stiles Stilinski Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-02-01 23:53:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12715434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FindMyWayBack/pseuds/FindMyWayBack
Summary: Stiles wakes up on the morning of his birthday to Derek bringing breakfast to bed. If Stiles still has nightmares that hunt him down in his sleep, you can be sure that Derek and the pack is there for him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is my very first fanfic :o so i hope you like it!  
> If there's something I can add in the tags please tell me. I'd appreciate every type of comment:)  
> (Sorry for any mistakes)
> 
> I may have changed some things in the beginning and added a little bit. Hope you like it!

He wakes up to the smell of freshly baked pancakes and the sound of the running shower. Stiles turns around to see that the other side of the bed is empty. He stretches out one arm which flopps right back on the already cold bedsheet on his left side. It seems Derek choose to rise with the sun and take a quick shower before going to the kitchen for breakfast. Maybe, he even took a quick run though the preserve surrounding the Hale house.

Wait!! It’s his birthday! They planned to just relax today and enjoy the time with each other because the weekend started yesterday. Stiles doesn’t need to go to work and neither does Derek because the Sheriff gave him a day off to spend it with Stiles. Since school ended, Stiles choose to spend his time before college working in a nearby library, where he always liked to go to – mostly to look for supernatural-related books when there wasn’t anything to find in the books left from the Hales.

So why is Derek out of bed? Is it already that late and did Stiles sleep that long that it’s already too late to lie in bed to cuddle? But that couldn’t be… he rarely sleeps all through the night let alone long into the morning. He still has nightmare which mostly end with his hands bloody and his friends’ dead bodies around him at his feet and all around him the echo of the laughter of the nogitsune…

He tries to push these dark thoughts away. It’s his birthday, so he shouldn’t ruin the day by letting his bad emotions come up to the surface, because Derek shouldn’t be forced to always have to cope with his depressive mood. He has his own baggage to carry.

 _So, Stiles, man up and make the best out of the day. For Derek!_ He directs himself, as he waits for Derek to come out of the bathroom.

It takes some time, in which Stiles tries to think about the possibilities they could do today that Derek would like. To a large extent, it helps him to clear his head from the nightmares and to fully wake up.

Eventually, he hears the bathroom door being opened, however Derek goes into the kitchen. Stiles can’t help but feel his heart sinking at the thought that Derek won’t come back to the bedroom to wake him up or to wish him a happy birthday or something like that. Maybe he forgot his birthday. _It’s the first sign of him not wanting to be with you anymore because he finally sees what a waste of time you are_ , a malicious voice in the back of his head whispers and Stiles can picture the bent posture of the nogitsune, as it cackles roughly afterwards.

He shakes his head to push these thoughts out of his head. Probably, it’s just because Derek forgot something, or he quickly wants to get something to drink from the kitchen. Stiles is just overthinking… _Just wait_. He tells himself and moves to stand up to go to the kitchen to Derek himself and say good morning, when he hears the _pat pat_ of Derek’s footsteps coming back in Stiles direction. He stays put on the edge of Derek’s bed as he waits for him.

Derek steps into the room, clad in boxer shorts, so he after all must have thought about coming to bed, which lets Stiles relax a bit. He carries a tray with various delicious looking food, like fried egg, toast with jam and of cause with Nutella, some fresh ham and croissant – enough for them both.

Not only did Derek come back, he brought breakfast with him. Stiles starts to lighten up as he is able to put the negative thoughts about Derek eventually not wanting to be with him to the back of his mind. He doesn’t want to think about something like that. At least not today… He knows, that Derek loves him, at least the positive part of him does...

Derek smiles his private smile. „ Good morning, babe!” He says as he comes over to Stiles side of the bed and leans over him to put the tray down in the middle of the bed, before he presses a small though all the same sweet kiss to Stiles’ forehead.

Stiles smiles warmly up at him from his sitting position on the bed. „Mornin’, Der!”, he says, his voice still rough with sleep.

Derek leans down again and cups his cheeks to kiss him on the mouth. „Happy birthday, sweetie.” He murmurs against his lips before once again capturing them. „Thank you”, Stiles whispers as he leans into his touch. It feels warm and comforting in a way only very few people can make him feel.

As Derek stands up and moves to the other side of the bed, Stiles immediately misses the warmth of his touch on his cheek and his lips. Derek climbs in the bed and takes the tray on his lap.

„You made breakfast.” Stiles states the obvious. It seems, his brain is still half asleep, or it’s just him being awkward.

Though, Derek doesn’t seem to mind, instead he laughs softly and directs a fond look at him. „Yes, that’s breakfast. You’re not quite awake, are you?”

Stiles scoffs. That’s one of the reasons why he loves Derek that much. He doesn’t distaste him for sometimes - or rather a lot - being his awkward self. In fact, Derek likes it, or as he himself sometimes says in front of the pack „it’s one of many reasons he loves Stiles”, before Stiles becomes bead red and hides his face behind his hand as their friends either laugh, coo or fake gag. These moments give Stiles some of his self-confidence back, even if it’s not a hell of a lot and it mostly vanishes just as quickly with the next nightmare, but Stiles needs Derek speaking love to him to counteract his negative thoughts, just as Derek needs it from Stiles.

„You know me too well”, Stiles answers with a laugh.

„Come here” Derek says, pats the spot right next to him and ushers Stiles to move further on the bed so he can lean against the headboard beside Derek. As he does so, Derek puts the tray on his right and Stiles’ left leg, so they are able to share it more comfortably.

„Thank you, Der Bear”, Stiles leans into Derek and eyes the big jar of Nutella right next to the croissants and the freshly made eggs. „You are the best”, he says and can’t help letting a chuckle escape his mouth.

„And why is that?” Derek asks.

„Because you brought breakfast to bed” he leans up and pecks him on the lips. „And you haven’t forgotten Nutella and the eggs are alla Derek.” He grins.

Derek rolls his eyes fondly at him and shakes his head as he mutters. „You’re a dork!” He mutters. „I do know that you think a breakfast isn’t a real breakfast without Nutella.”

„But I’m your dork”, he answers proudly and smiles cheekily at Derek.

Derek laughs and teases „Yes, you are my adorable dork, that I’m madly in love with.”

„Oh, yes?” Stiles says with an innocent expression on his face, which doesn’t seem to convince Derek, because he just laughs some more.

Stiles can’t prevent himself from staring at Derek in wonder and full of love. His full and natural laugh shows his adorable dimples while his eyes get laughter lines around them.

Not long ago was he this withdrawn, self-deprecating werewolf, who could only scowl. Over the time he could see more light in his life and wouldn’t blame himself for every little thing that didn’t go according to plan or when someone of their pack member got hurt. He would smile more and more during pack meetings and integrate himself more. Then, he even started to come to movie nights.

Sometime Derek and Stiles started to meet up just the two of them. First, it was because Stiles would read in the old books - which mostly survived the fire - Derek’s family has about supernatural relating things. Over time, Stiles would sometimes fall asleep on the couch the pack had insisted Derek needed if they would start having pack meetings at the old Hale’s house, because it apparently was the best option as it was big enough and they couldn’t disturb any neighbors that easily. Derek had rebuilt it in times when it was calm in Beacon Hills. The result was a beautiful big old house designed from the whole pack in which every member can stay overnight.

Given time Derek would join Stiles in the living room to read about the supernatural. Sometimes they just discussed things they have read or compared them to the creatures they have met in real life. Derek even started to talk about his family and their experiences in the past. Sometimes they would just sit together on the couch and watch a film (Derek hasn’t yet watched Star Wars at the time!!).  
During these times, they grew closer and Derek opened up to Stiles with time.  
Too late, Stiles realized his massive crush on Derek becoming a problem. First, he told himself that it would go away even if it would take more time than it took with his crush on Lydia. He just had to sit it out for 10 or even 15 years without Derek detecting his crush because if he couldn’t have him as a boyfriend he at least would want him as a good friend. Even if it hurt like hell, it was always better than to see rejection or even disdain on his face when Derek has to tell him that he doesn’t fell the same way as Stiles.

After some time, the pack was tired of them dancing around each other and Scott talked to Stiles and Boyd with Derek, which resulted in nothing because obviously both Derek and Stiles thought their feelings weren’t reciprocated. But after what happened with the nogitsune, Derek couldn’t hold himself back from spilling out his heard. He just wanted Stiles to know how he felt, as he could see that their lives were too short to waste it with uncertainties regarding love.

It took Derek some time to mostly recover from his trauma of losing his family to an arson of the woman he thought he loved, but he is not alone. He has the pack and of course Stiles will always be there for him…

„...iles?? Hey, you’re ok?” He hears Derek’s words as if he’s talking to him through a big water wall.

Stiles jerks his head up to Derek where he sees him looking at Stiles with a worried expression on his face. „Mh, what? Uh… sorry, I uh… did you say something? I’m sorry, I was…” He stammers as he gestures wildly with his hand to his head to indicate that he was thinking and therefore apparently didn’t catch the last seconds.

Ever since the nogitsune, Stiles still sometimes seems to disappear in his own head for some time. It happens less often and not for such a long time that it happened not long after they were able to kill the dark kitsune. That time he disappeared every day up to half an hour before someone could shake him out of it, which was mostly Derek. But he’s still suffering the aftermath of someone or something being in his head and making him do that one might think only happens in the darkest nightmares.

The worst part of that was that he was conscious to everything and screamed in his head to make it stop. But still, his hands did these cruel things to other people – and to his friends. Fortunately, Allison survived the stab of the knife from the Oni. She was in a coma for 2 weeks before she woke up. Stiles wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if Allison wouldn’t have made it.

Derek keeps saying that it was the nogitsune affecting him, but Stiles can’t quite believe him yet. All the same he couldn’t believe that Derek is able to love him like someone who isn’t responsible for several parents, relatives and friends grieving over their murdered child or friend.

He was infinitely grateful that his pack, his dad and his boyfriend hadn’t left him after all the horrible things he had done. Yes, it still was him who did all the murders and other things, even if the nogitsune was in his thoughts.

With the help of the pack, his dad and Derek, he gets better with time, as well as Derek could because of his trauma. Even if Stiles won’t be able to forgive himself, he’ll maybe be able to live with it.

„Stiles, hey babe, look at me, please”, he takes the tray from their legs to his left side and puts his hand on either side of Stiles’ face to gently turn his face back up so he can look him in the eyes. „Were you in your headspace again?” He asks him with concern and understanding underlying his words.

„I… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to worr…”

„No such thing”, he interrupts him softly, because he knows what Stiles was about to say, that he didn’t mean to be a burden, as he often seems to think he is. Since the incident with the nogitsune, his self-confidence has become ever more marred and he doesn’t even need to say that it’s the same as with his self-blaming and insecurity. „I care about you, because I love you. That’s why I worry about you. You’re not a burden to me, Stiles. You are the most important person in my life.” Derek says quietly as he strokes a thumb over Stiles cheek and kisses his nose.

Stiles can’t help the small hesitant smile that always creeps onto his face when Derek confesses so earnestly his love to him. In these moments, he more and more starts to believe him, that he’s worth being loved, even with his dark faults. „I love you, too.” He whispers to him as he leans forward to indicate a kiss, but waits for Derek to do the same. He too leans forward and pecks his lips in a short kiss, but non-the less full of love.

„I was in my headspace, but I was thinking about you because your laugh was so… it was so beautiful. A…and then I didn’t hear you because of it. You… I wasn’t thinking about the… about…” His voice breaks. He still doesn’t like bringing the nogitsune up to talk about it, as it reminds him of all the things that happened and brings all the terrible pictures back to the front. Talking is more difficult than thinking about it or the nightmares, because words make the past once again more real.

Thankfully, he doesn’t need to end his sentence. „It’s ok, I know.” Derek smiles a sad smile, as he presses his lips to Stiles forehead and then pulls him against his chest into a hug and rubs his back soothingly as Stiles clings to Derek and presses his face into his neck fighting back the tears that threaten to fall.

They just sit there in silence on the bed for a moment as Derek keeps stroking his back and neck. But eventually, the combination of the nightmare this night and now this, he thinks it’s best to talk it out.  
„I wa…I was thinking about you a…and how happy you are, how beautiful your smile and your laugh is when you’re genuinely happy.” Stiles whispers into Derek neck after a moment, knowing he’ll be able to hear with his supernatural hearing and smiles into his neck. „And as you asked me if everything was ok, I knew that you thought I was thinking about… the… you know.” He pauses shortly to swallow hard, only to continue to rush the words out while the first tears start to fall down his cheeks and onto Derek’s shoulder. „That got me worried that I ruined the moment because I once again screwed it up with my overthinking and the whole thing with t…the mind-robbing. And I didn’t want the day to start that way. I didn’t want to ruin it because you seemed so happy, which made me happy and I just disappeared again thinking about you, even if it wasn’t for the… the _nogitsune_ …” He whispers the word nogitsune in his raspy voice, as if thinking saying it out loud might wake up some dark spirit again. He’s now full out crying, but he needed to explain it to Derek and had to get it out of his head. „Because of that I made you worry about me once again…” He croaks out as he takes a deep shaky breath to get some air back into his lungs and lets the tears flow freely down his face.

„I understand” Derek soft voice breaks though Stiles’ sobs and he looks up to see Derek already looking at with the sincerest look on his face. He gently lays his left hand on Stiles face and brushes with his thumb some big tears away. „It’s ok, if I worry about you, or if somebody else worries about you. Don’t blame yourself for that. It’s not a bad thing. When people worry about you, they care about you and that is a good thing.” Derek tries to use his words which he had to improve in the past, especially when it came to their relationship because a relationship can’t work if you don’t talk. Especially, if both of them need to talk more about their feelings instead of keeping them locked inside of oneself to the point where they’d break of the burden. Derek thinks they got better in this part which brought them even more together.

Stiles stares into his eyes for a moment, as if pondering if he can believe him over his self-depreciating thoughts. Derek keeps his eyes on Stiles and gives him the time he needs. With his puffy red-swollen eyes from crying, Derek just wants to protect his mate from everything bad that might be out there hiding in a dark corner. After Stiles seems to find something that satisfies him, he lets a small yet sad smile grates his lips and ducks his head down to lean it against Derek’s chest.

Derek can feel the warm puffs of his breath, as he pulls Stiles further against him and presses a kiss on his soft hair. They stay that way, while Stiles snuggles up to him and the warmth that radiates of the werewolf and Derek breathes in the comforting smell of his mate being content and comfortable again. What they wouldn’t do to just stay like that forever.

Eventually tough, Derek’s stomach interrupts them with a loud rumble. Stiles leans back just enough so that he can look into Derek’s face to detect a slight blush creeping up his cheeks accompanied with a slightly guilty look because of ending the moment. A bright laugh bubbles out of Stiles he can’t seem to contain. That look is just too hilariously cute. The corners of Derek’s lips twitch up at the picture before him, as he stares at Stiles laughing. Derek just has to memorize every beautiful detail of it on his face.

„What are you staring at?” He hears Stiles call him out of his thoughts with a smile still on his lips.

Just then does Derek realize that he just stared at Stiles with a dopey yet lovingly smile directed at his mate.

„You.”, he confesses. „ I simply love your smile, it lightens up your whole face.”

As Stiles smile vanishes, Derek starts to worry, but Stiles interrupt him with an adorable groan accompanied with his entire face flushing a deep red. He takes his hands from around Derek’s torso to hide himself behind them and ducks his head forward onto Derek’s chest. Derek lets him and chuckles at his cute antics. Derek might blush sometimes, too, but Stiles’ is just on another level of intensity. Every time, Derek has to stop himself from cooing. However, he can’t hold back a quiet laugh.

„You can’t just say something like that out of the blue.” Stiles mumbles into his hands.

„Of course, I can. Because you’re my boyfriend and mate and it’s the truth.” He tells him with a smile gracing his lips as he lifts Stiles head gently with a hand under his chin and guides his hands away from his face. He’s still blushing crimson, but smiles up at Derek.

„I’m hungry, too.” He says with a chuckle.

„Way to ruin the romantic mood, Stiles.” He laughs, but kisses him sweetly on the tip of his red nose anyway, making him scrunch it up cutely.

„It was your stomach that ruined the moment by rumbling.” He fires back joyfully and leaves Derek no time to answer as he continues. „Plus, the fried eggs should be cold by now.”

„Well then, let’s start with the breakfast and don’t you dare steal my fried egg.” Derek warns him playfully as he puts the tray back on their legs.

„Derek, how dare you thinking so low of me?” Stiles puts on a fake shocked face as he grips his chest dramatically. He hasn’t lost his sense of humor, as it’s way too complicated to steal Stiles’ sarcasm.

„I just know you and your love for my fried eggs.”

Stiles pretends to contemplate before he answers: „Yeah, well, they are pretty good. So, if there somehow will be the possibility of you not wanting to eat that precious fried egg alla Derek Hale, let me inform you that there is a certain very hungry boyfriend next to you who would appreciate your generosity of you leave it t…” His speech is interrupted by a pair of warm lips on his and for a moment he continues mumbling before he stops in favor of responding the kiss.

Soon, Derek breaks the kiss and says with a laugh: „You really should start eating before I decide to eat that _certain very hungry boyfriend_ ’s fried egg too.”

„No, you wouldn’t do that!” Stiles exclaims and chuckles as he scrambles to get one egg on his side of the tray. He nearly throws one of the two glasses off with his elbow, but Derek manages to catch it in the last moment. Stiles sees him doing so and just grins at him. „Ups, sorry, I’m indeed _very hungry_.”

„I see.” Derek grins back as he too starts on his breakfast.

 

After some time of comfortable silence of them eating, Derek remembers his talk with the Sheriff yesterday at the station. „Stiles, I talked to your dad yesterday.”

„Oh, mph? Yef?” Stiles askes curiously, still with his mouth full.

„He wanted me to tell you that he managed to clear some hours today by working overtime last week so that he should be able to leave work around noon and come by afterwards... “

„What? That is awesome!!” Stiles interrupts his explanation. „But why did he work overtime? He shouldn’t be doing that. Not for me! He works a lot without having to take double-shifts so he could come to my birthday. There is still the weekend where his working time would allow him to come by without overworking himself.” Guilt is written over his face as he thinks about it.

„Sweetie, your dad wants to celebrate your twentieth birthday with you _on_ your birthday, so if there is the possibility of him doing so, you should know that it’s what he’ll do.” Derek reasons and looks at Stiles to see the guilt slowly vanishing out of his face to be replaced by happiness yet hesitation.

„So, you think, it isn’t… You think, he wants…?” Stiles can’t quite form the words to the question that flows through his mind.

Regardless, Derek is able to answer his unspoken question: „He wants it because you’re his son and he loves you. Thus, it’s worth it for him to do overtime if he gets to be with his son on his birthday. You can’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same.” He knows what is going on in Stiles’ mind. That he doesn’t want his dad to tire himself for him, which is why he feels guilty for making his father do that, even though it’s the sheriff’s own reasonable decision.

„I... Yeah, ok” Stiles relents as he knows he’d do the same.

„The pack and Melissa are coming, too. It’s going to take some time to prepare the dinner.”

„Yeah, we should start soon so we get the casserole mostly ready. That way, we only have to put it into the stove late afternoon. I’m glad that Melissa volunteered to bake a cake. Hers are the best. And it gives us some more time to prepare the dinner. Maybe we should make two salads, not only one. Our mixed salad and some green salad, in case someone doesn’t like it…”

„Babe…” Derek tries to reassure Stiles that they don’t have to overthink the evening as there will only be the pack, Stiles’ dad and Melissa, so they don’t have to fear anything, but Stiles just rambles on without even hearing him and flings his arms wildly as if to emphasize the big problem they have.

„Or we could put the ingredients in different bowl so everyone can choose what they want in their salad. But then the dressing should be in a special jar, too, and… Oh, do we have some kind of jar for salad dressing or something like that?”

„ Stiles…”

„And what if someone doesn’t like the casserole? It not that extraordinary, but maybe some of the pack won’t like it. I even added meat to the receipt because dad and the pack should like it if there are not only vegetables...”

„Hey, Stil…”

„Oh, no!” He suddenly exclaims and stops his dramatization, holds his head with his hand on his cheeks and stares at Derek.

„What? What are you thinking about?” Derek asks him and stares back, waiting for Stiles to explain, as he himself thinks of something they might have forgotten, that could explain Stiles’ exclaim.

„What if we don’t manage to finish it or if something ruins it. Then we’ll have nothing…”

Derek groans, _that_ is not something that explains his reaction. „Stiles!!!” He says with a firm voice but soft enough to not scare Stiles and takes his hands in his own to stop them from flying around and nearly hitting him right in his face. Fortunately, it eventually gets Stiles’ attention and he looks awaiting at him with his honey-brown doe eyes wide open. „Take a breath!” He directs him to which Stiles seems to realize that he needs some air if he wants to talk that much, so he gulps in some lungfuls. After Stiles recovers his breath, Derek continues: „First of all, don’t stress yourself. Everything will go fine today.”

As Stiles opens his mouth to object, Derek raises his eyebrows to silence and motion him that he isn’t finished yet. It seems to work, it always does – Stiles understand his eyebrows-talk – because he snaps his mouth shut again.

„We don’t have to separate the ingredients of the salat. If someone wants to eat salat, they have to take the whole thing, because it is perfectly fine that way and tastes brilliant.” He smiles as Stiles looks at him proudly. „And the casserole is delicious, too. We’ll get it finished in time and nothing will go wrong because we both know how to make it as it is our favourite, with or without meat in it, ok?”

„Ok, we’ll make it.” Stiles answers after a few seconds of contemplating and smiles at Derek. „Thanks, Der!”

“For what?”

“For not letting me freak myself out.” Stiles mumbles, while smiling embarrassed.

Derek squeezes Stiles’ hands and moves them up to his lips to press a kiss on his knuckles. „Anytime! I know about your tendency to freak out about something like that.” He smiles reassuringly at Stiles. „Let’s finish eating so you can get showered.”

„I do not stink, do I? If I do stink, you should have told me. I would have showered earlier.” He thinks about Derek sitting there all the time with his wolf-nose while Stiles stinks up their bedroom.

Derek can’t help but laugh at the face Stiles pulls as he thinks about it. „You do not stink. You have the most enticing scent there is to me. But maybe you should shower to become awake, so you don’t fall asleep on my lap when we’re waiting for the others.”

„Aww… Why do you have to remind me of that? That was one time! And they really came late and your lap is really comfortable, so don’t…or else… just don’t!”

„Or else what?” Derek laughs at Stiles’ look of half shock that Derek dares to ask what else will happen and half concentration to find something to say in comeback.  

As Stiles smirks, he just knows the answer wouldn’t appeal to him. „Or else, I may choose to not sleep on your lap but instead on somebody else’s shoulder because I just become too tired. And then I maybe get to enjoy Isaac’s warmth or Boyd’s or even Jackson’s…” Stiles doesn’t get to finish his sentence as he has to jump up and out of Derek’s armlength because he apparently couldn’t take the idea of Stiles being snuggled up to somebody in his sleep other than him. Fortunately, their food and their glasses on the tray are already empty otherwise it all would have spoiled their bedsheet, as the tray slips off Stiles’ leg and tips over onto the bed. The remaining crumbs of the croissants stay on the tray while the glasses fall onto the bedding. Derek hastily puts them back onto the tray and moves it off his lap to race after Stiles who intends to escape out of the bedroom. He hears him laughing joyfully and can’t help but doing so, too. It doesn’t happen a lot anymore these days that Derek can chase Stiles, without Stiles having a panic attack because of the thought that appear while running away. When Derek is aware of Stiles struggling – sometimes even before Stiles realizes, - he always immediately stops and cuddles up to him.

He runs out of the room just as he hears his boyfriend stumbling down the end of the stairs to the downstairs. The laughing doesn’t stop though so he thankfully didn’t hurt himself but it must have been his usual clumsy self, tripping over his own feet. As Derek takes two steps at once and dashes down the stairs he’s just able to see Stiles wanting to hide behind the edge of the wall that is just next to the door to the kitchen and the loft makes a bend to the living room. Then Stiles becomes quiet and tries to hold his breath for Derek not to hear, even if he knows that he’s able to hear his heartbeat. But if Stiles is up for playing a game, Derek will chase him.

Derek slows his steps and tries to be as quiet as he can, so at least Stiles won’t be able to hear him. He tiptoes in the direction of the edge and hears Stiles heart pounding wildly, but he doesn’t fear anything, it is just fun for him, too. That’s good, because Derek wound never chase Stiles if it actually scares him. He creeps closer to Stiles’ soft intakes of breath and as he is just around the edge, he prepares himself for the final pounce to catch him. Before that though, he lets his knuckles crack purposefully to warn Stiles that he is about to catch him. One Second later, Derek jumps around the edge and grabs Stiles around his waist as Stiles shrieks out and his heartbeat jumps higher. He makes a last futile attempt at escaping but finds himself trapped in Derek’s strong grip and he is pulled back up against Derek’ chest with his back to him. His hot breath ghosts over his skin on his neck with every laugh or exhale and he tries to catch his breath while simultaneously still chuckling lightly.

„I caught you!” Derek whispers dangerously into his ear, but the effect of the Big Bad is broken as soon as he lets out a soft laugh and snuggles his face into Stiles neck. His beard scratches across his neck which sure as hell will leave beard-burn, but Stiles couldn’t care less as he leans into Derek touch and hums in soft contentment.

Soft kisses are placed onto his neck as Stiles enjoys having his boyfriend so close to him. He even thinks that this day will maybe become quite nice with the people most important to him coming to visit him on his birthday.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

„So, that`s managed!” Derek sighs as he shuts the stove.

Stiles watches him turn around and slumps against the kitchen counter. „Uh, about time…”

„You should get ready. I can take care of the cleaning.” Derek stops right in front of him and puts his hands on both side of his hips, so he slightly looms over Stiles.

„Maybe you should let me go then?” Stiles replies. However, he doesn’t make a move to push Derek away, but leans up to press a kiss to his lips. „Or…” _Kiss_ „…you can come with me and help me shower.” He wiggles his eyebrows to emphasize his point, though he can’t help it when his cheeks flush a deep red.

They still haven’t done anything beyond kissing – and _god_ , the kisses were so sweet, Stiles couldn’t get enough of them, he hopes Derek loves them as much as he does – and cuddling. But they always had clothes on, or at least their underwear, since Derek always sleeps in nothing but his boxers and Stiles with his boxers and a shirt from Derek, because they carry Derek’s scent and they’re more comfortable due to them being bigger on Stiles.

(Stiles loves to wear Derek’s clothes by the way and Derek does too, if the look he gave him the first time he saw Stiles coming to bed in one of his shirt was anything to go by. It was something between loving, stunned and being possessive.)

Being a virgin at his age is embarrassing, at least he thinks so („It’s nothing bad, if you haven’t had sex with somebody, Stiles! If _we_ haven’t had sex, yet. You’re still just 18.”). But even though he doesn’t like it to be one, he still couldn’t bring himself to do it. They tried to slowly get to it, but he always backed off. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Derek enough for that step, he’s one of the people he’d entrust his life to. It’s just a big step for Stiles and he fears it for some reason. They haven’t done it yet and Stiles is grateful for Derek’s patience. He just needs them to take it slow.

Silence stretches, as Stiles’ flush deepens even more and he ducks his head to stare at his boyfriend’s chest, waiting for him to react in some kind of way.

„You… do you mean…?” Derek stumbles over his words, as he tries to understand Stiles intentions without pushing him into anything. Eventually, he raises Stiles’ head with a gently hand under his chin, so he can look him into his eyes.

With Stiles meeting his eyes, he colours once again and opens his mouth to say something only to close it again like a gaping fish. He groans and tucks his face into Derek’s neck and winds his arms around his torso. Derek can practically feel the heat coming of him, but chooses to wait some more to give Stiles the time he needs to order his thoughts, so he can think about what he wants. Instead, he also puts his arms around Stiles.

„I’m not good with seduction!” Comes his muffled reply, as he shifts his head to look at Derek from his shoulder.

That’s definitely not what Derek expected, thus he chuckles lightly, but says nothing and squeezes Stiles to encourage him to continue.

„I don’t want to have sex with you in the shower for the first time. I didn’t mean to suggest us doing _that_.” He pauses and raises his head from Derek’s shoulder and once again seems to find his chest extremely interesting. „That’s… I don’t want to do that, yet – to have sex… I’m sorry, that I keep you waiting…”

Stiles’ scent has soured, so Derek interrupted him to stop his train of thoughts. „Stiles, you- “

„We’ve been together for nearly two years. If… you want us to sleep together, you should tell me. I’m sure I’d be able to do that- “

„What? Stiles! No!” Derek exclaims as he backs away from Stiles. „I would never want to do something that you’re not sure about. That’s _forcing myself onto you_ , Stiles!”

His mate’s expression changes from ashamed to troubled and shocked as he realised what he just suggested. Stiles rushes a step forward and takes Derek’s hands in his. „Derek… oh my god… that’s not… I didn’t mean it like that. I’m so sorry! You would never do that, I know about that. I wouldn’t want that either… I’m sorry, I didn’t think about what I was saying…” He hurries to explain with a worried look on his face.

This kind of topics still are a sore point with him. Just as Stiles will probably never forget the nogitsune, Derek is still hunted by the memory of Kate playing her little game with him.

„Well, to me it was pretty clear what one would mean with that.” Before Stiles is able to answer, he adds. „Even though I know nobody would want somebody forcing themselves on them, you should never say something like that. You’re worth more than rushing into sleeping with someone just because they aren’t able to wait.”

„I… I know… It was dumb to say something like that, I don’t know why I suggested it…” Stiles looks down and tries to think of the reason why he proposed it, it’s just dense… „I’m sorry… I should have thought of Ka- “ At Kate’s name he interrupts himself and briefly looks up at Derek’s pained face before looking down again.

„Of Kate.” Derek ends the sentence.

„Yes…” Squeezing Derek’s hand, he takes a step closer to him. „I should have thought of her before saying some dumb shit like that. You would never do something like what she did. I know you wouldn’t! You’re nothing like her. She is a monster and- “

With a soft voice, the wolf says: „I know that. You helped me to understand that.”

„And now I told you to do something to me that she did to you… I’m so sorry, Derek!” He whispers as he looks up at him again.

„It’s ok.” At Stiles attempt to disagree with him on that, he quickly continues. „I know that you didn’t mean to hurt me by saying that. But don’t you dare do something just to please me. First, that wouldn’t work and please me and secondly, I want you to enjoy it when we finally have sex. So, we’ll wait as long as you’d like, ok?”

At the serious and scrutinizing expression, he gets from Derek, he can only nod and believe him that he’d wait much longer than these two years they have been together.

As response, Derek takes his hands up to his lips and kisses them lightly.

„Let’s just forget that happened, ok?”

With a relieved smile Stiles breathes a „Yeah.”

Derek leans forward until their foreheads are touching and smiles back at him. For a while they’re just standing like that, before Stiles interrupts the comforting silence with a chuckle. He leans back enough for him to see Derek’s face.

„Well, I told you, I was shitty at seduction.”

„Yeah, you are.” Derek tells him but smiles cheekily.

„I… uh I just wanted you t… I wanted to ask if you’d like to come… with me… shower?” Stiles stumbles through the question as his voice becomes higher with every word until it’s just a squeak. Oh and of course, the blush is back high on his cheeks. Damn!

One of Derek’s hand moves to the side of Stiles’ face and cups his cheek as Derek smiles lovingly at him with a hint of boldness. „You do blush a lot when talking about… sex or nakedness.” He teases with a laugh.

For that he gets a slap to his chest from a laughing and even more flushing Stiles. „Oh, would you shut up already and decide quickly if you want to join me? Or otherwise I’m finished before you moved your lazy ass.” With that he moves out of Derek’s hold and leaves the kitchen with a stunned Derek behind to head to the bathroom on the first floor. He can’t help the smirk from forming on his lips.

„You, the one and only sack rat, calls me a lazy ass?!” Derek shouts with fake indignation as he moves in Stiles direction at a smart pace.

And the race is one again as Stiles squeals (he did _not_ squeal, Stiles doesn’t do something like _squealing_!!) and takes off into a run up the stairs with his werewolf boyfriend hot on his heels.

 

It takes them some time to get into the shower but once they are under the shower head they calm down from the chase and choose to wash each other. To Stiles, it’s not awkward at all which surprises him, but he still wants to wash himself from the waist down. Thankfully, Derek doesn’t say anything and just gives him a small loving smile.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

At the door bell ringing, Stiles jumps up from his seat pressed to Derek’s side on the sofa. They finished everything and even managed to set the table, but they left the casserole in the stove to keep it warm.

„Ohh, who is it? Who- “ _Thump!_ „Umf… Fuck!”

„Stiles! Good god!” Derek jumps up, too, to rush to his little dork. „You’re ok?”

Of course, Stiles would stumble once again over his feet in his haste to get to the door.

Stiles sits up with his lanky legs sprawled in front of him and looks at Derek kneeling at his side.

Staring up at his boyfriend with big eyes he asks him: „Ugh, _why_ , Derek? Why always me?”

Trying to keep from laughing at the dumbfounded look on Stiles’ face and failing, Derek helps him up. „You’re cute!”, he decides to say.

Once standing Stiles stares at him with a gaping mouth and a red face without doing anything which leaves Derek even more amused.

_Ding dong!_

„Go get the door before Scott becomes even more eager.” Kissing his still open mouth he gives Stiles a light shove. As he just stumbles backwards a step, Derek chuckles lightly.

Closing his mouth, he mumbles: „You can’t… Don’t say something like that!” His warning falls flat when he flushes even more before turning around and walking to the door, managing to not trip again. Yeah!

Derek follows him while still laughing at his antics and before Stiles opens the door to their friends he quickly pecks Derek on his lips and smiles at him.

 

Just as they’re able to see the all too familiar mop of dark brown hair next to Kira behind the door, Stiles is yanked forward into a bone crushing hug from the one and only Scottie McCall.

„Uff… Hey buddy…” Stiles wheezes while clapping his best friend on his back. „Wolfie hugging a scrawny human here, Scottie. Don’t try to strangle this human being with your strength.”

„Mmh… It’s good to see you again!” Scott says into his neck before letting him out of his hug to take a deep breath of air. „You too, Derek” Then he moves to hug him, and wow he lets it happen, even if it’s a lot shorter.

„It’s good to see you too, Scott.” Well ok, Derek’s not the same grumpy don’t-hug-me-if-you-don’t-want-to-have-your-throat-ripped-out but he’s never going to be the guy to hug everyone of his friend just to _hug_ them. That’s preserved for Stiles!

„Happy Birthday, Stiles!” Kira smiles at him and clutches him to her as tightly, she is a lot stronger than one might think just by seeing her small body.

„Thanks!” He mumbles into her neck, hugging her back.

He moves to Derek’s side to let them in.

 „We saw each other yesterday at the library, Scott!” He kindly reminds Scott of him visiting Stiles at the job after he got off at the animal clinic, while moving to the dining table.

„Yeah, but I’m still happy to see you!” Smiling his puppy smile he squeezed Stiles’ shoulder.

„Aww, I missed you, too.”

They are interrupted in their _confessions_ by cooing coming from Kira as they sit at the table. „You two are just too adorable to watch!”

While Scott just smiles and shoots her a look with his heart-eyes, Stiles groans and hits his head on the table top, thankfully far enough away from the cutlery. He stills as he hear Kira’s sweet laugher and Derek’s laugh next to him.

„I will not say anything to you guys laughing at me.” He pouts, still staring down at the table.

„We love you too, Stiles.” Kira supplies with a chuckle.

„Yes, we love you.” Derek’s voice is right beside his ear – how did he get there without him noticing? Oh yeah, werewolf, he thinks – before kissing his cheek.

„I love you, too” He mumbles, raising his head, completely aware how his face is still burning, but he decides to not care.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

„So, that`s managed!” Derek sighs as he shuts the stove.

Stiles watches him turn around and slumps against the kitchen counter. „Uh, about time…”

„You should get ready. I can take care of the cleaning.” Derek stops right in front of him and puts his hands on both side of his hips, so he slightly looms over Stiles.

„Maybe you should let me go then?” Stiles replies. However, he doesn’t make a move to push Derek away, but leans up to press a kiss to his lips. „Or…” _Kiss_ „…you can come with me and help me shower.” He wiggles his eyebrows to emphasize his point, though he can’t help it when his cheeks flush a deep red.

They still haven’t done anything beyond kissing – and _god_ , the kisses were so sweet, Stiles couldn’t get enough of them, he hopes Derek loves them as much as he does – and cuddling. But they always had clothes on, or at least their underwear, since Derek always sleeps in nothing but his boxers and Stiles with his boxers and a shirt from Derek, because they carry Derek’s scent and they’re more comfortable due to them being bigger on Stiles.

(Stiles loves to wear Derek’s clothes by the way and Derek does too, if the look he gave him the first time he saw Stiles coming to bed in one of his shirt was anything to go by. It was something between loving, stunned and being possessive.)

Being a virgin at his age is embarrassing, at least he thinks so („It’s nothing bad, if you haven’t had sex with somebody, Stiles! If _we_ haven’t had sex, yet. You’re still just 18.”). But even though he doesn’t like it to be one, he still couldn’t bring himself to do it. They tried to slowly get to it, but he always backed off. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Derek enough for that step, he’s one of the people he’d entrust his life to. It’s just a big step for Stiles and he fears it for some reason. They haven’t done it yet and Stiles is grateful for Derek’s patience. He just needs them to take it slow.

Silence stretches, as Stiles’ flush deepens even more and he ducks his head to stare at his boyfriend’s chest, waiting for him to react in some kind of way.

„You… do you mean…?” Derek stumbles over his words, as he tries to understand Stiles intentions without pushing him into anything. Eventually, he raises Stiles’ head with a gently hand under his chin, so he can look him into his eyes.

With Stiles meeting his eyes, he colours once again and opens his mouth to say something only to close it again like a gaping fish. He groans and tucks his face into Derek’s neck and winds his arms around his torso. Derek can practically feel the heat coming of him, but chooses to wait some more to give Stiles the time he needs to order his thoughts, so he can think about what he wants. Instead, he also puts his arms around Stiles.

„I’m not good with seduction!” Comes his muffled reply, as he shifts his head to look at Derek from his shoulder.

That’s definitely not what Derek expected, thus he chuckles lightly, but says nothing and squeezes Stiles to encourage him to continue.

„I don’t want to have sex with you in the shower for the first time. I didn’t mean to suggest us doing _that_.” He pauses and raises his head from Derek’s shoulder and once again seems to find his chest extremely interesting. „That’s… I don’t want to do that, yet – to have sex… I’m sorry, that I keep you waiting…”

Stiles’ scent has soured, so Derek interrupted him to stop his train of thoughts. „Stiles, you- “

„We’ve been together for nearly two years. If… you want us to sleep together, you should tell me. I’m sure I’d be able to do that- “

„What? Stiles! No!” Derek exclaims as he backs away from Stiles. „I would never want to do something that you’re not sure about. That’s _forcing myself onto you_ , Stiles!”

His mate’s expression changes from ashamed to troubled and shocked as he realised what he just suggested. Stiles rushes a step forward and takes Derek’s hands in his. „Derek… oh my god… that’s not… I didn’t mean it like that. I’m so sorry! You would never do that, I know about that. I wouldn’t want that either… I’m sorry, I didn’t think about what I was saying…” He hurries to explain with a worried look on his face.

This kind of topics still are a sore point with him. Just as Stiles will probably never forget the nogitsune, Derek is still hunted by the memory of Kate playing her little game with him.

„Well, to me it was pretty clear what one would mean with that.” Before Stiles is able to answer, he adds. „Even though I know nobody would want somebody forcing themselves on them, you should never say something like that. You’re worth more than rushing into sleeping with someone just because they aren’t able to wait.”

„I… I know… It was dumb to say something like that, I don’t know why I suggested it…” Stiles looks down and tries to think of the reason why he proposed it, it’s just dense… „I’m sorry… I should have thought of Ka- “ At Kate’s name he interrupts himself and briefly looks up at Derek’s pained face before looking down again.

„Of Kate.” Derek ends the sentence.

„Yes…” Squeezing Derek’s hand, he takes a step closer to him. „I should have thought of her before saying some dumb shit like that. You would never do something like what she did. I know you wouldn’t! You’re nothing like her. She is a monster and- “

With a soft voice, the wolf says: „I know that. You helped me to understand that.”

„And now I told you to do something to me that she did to you… I’m so sorry, Derek!” He whispers as he looks up at him again.

„It’s ok.” At Stiles attempt to disagree with him on that, he quickly continues. „I know that you didn’t mean to hurt me by saying that. But don’t you dare do something just to please me. First, that wouldn’t work and please me and secondly, I want you to enjoy it when we finally have sex. So, we’ll wait as long as you’d like, ok?”

At the serious and scrutinizing expression, he gets from Derek, he can only nod and believe him that he’d wait much longer than these two years they have been together.

As response, Derek takes his hands up to his lips and kisses them lightly.

„Let’s just forget that happened, ok?”

With a relieved smile Stiles breathes a „Yeah.”

Derek leans forward until their foreheads are touching and smiles back at him. For a while they’re just standing like that, before Stiles interrupts the comforting silence with a chuckle. He leans back enough for him to see Derek’s face.

„Well, I told you, I was shitty at seduction.”

„Yeah, you are.” Derek tells him but smiles cheekily.

„I… uh I just wanted you t… I wanted to ask if you’d like to come… with me… shower?” Stiles stumbles through the question as his voice becomes higher with every word until it’s just a squeak. Oh and of course, the blush is back high on his cheeks. Damn!

One of Derek’s hand moves to the side of Stiles’ face and cups his cheek as Derek smiles lovingly at him with a hint of boldness. „You do blush a lot when talking about… sex or nakedness.” He teases with a laugh.

For that he gets a slap to his chest from a laughing and even more flushing Stiles. „Oh, would you shut up already and decide quickly if you want to join me? Or otherwise I’m finished before you moved your lazy ass.” With that he moves out of Derek’s hold and leaves the kitchen with a stunned Derek behind to head to the bathroom on the first floor. He can’t help the smirk from forming on his lips.

„You, the one and only sack rat, calls me a lazy ass?!” Derek shouts with fake indignation as he moves in Stiles direction at a smart pace.

And the race is one again as Stiles squeals (he did _not_ squeal, Stiles doesn’t do something like _squealing_!!) and takes off into a run up the stairs with his werewolf boyfriend hot on his heels.

 

It takes them some time to get into the shower but once they are under the shower head they calm down from the chase and choose to wash each other. To Stiles, it’s not awkward at all which surprises him, but he still wants to wash himself from the waist down. Thankfully, Derek doesn’t say anything and just gives him a small loving smile.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

At the door bell ringing, Stiles jumps up from his seat pressed to Derek’s side on the sofa. They finished everything and even managed to set the table, but they left the casserole in the stove to keep it warm.

„Ohh, who is it? Who- “ _Thump!_ „Umf… Fuck!”

„Stiles! Good god!” Derek jumps up, too, to rush to his little dork. „You’re ok?”

Of course, Stiles would stumble once again over his feet in his haste to get to the door.

Stiles sits up with his lanky legs sprawled in front of him and looks at Derek kneeling at his side.

Staring up at his boyfriend with big eyes he asks him: „Ugh, _why_ , Derek? Why always me?”

Trying to keep from laughing at the dumbfounded look on Stiles’ face and failing, Derek helps him up. „You’re cute!”, he decides to say.

Once standing Stiles stares at him with a gaping mouth and a red face without doing anything which leaves Derek even more amused.

_Ding dong!_

„Go get the door before Scott becomes even more eager.” Kissing his still open mouth he gives Stiles a light shove. As he just stumbles backwards a step, Derek chuckles lightly.

Closing his mouth, he mumbles: „You can’t… Don’t say something like that!” His warning falls flat when he flushes even more before turning around and walking to the door, managing to not trip again. Yeah!

Derek follows him while still laughing at his antics and before Stiles opens the door to their friends he quickly pecks Derek on his lips and smiles at him.

 

Just as they’re able to see the all too familiar mop of dark brown hair next to Kira behind the door, Stiles is yanked forward into a bone crushing hug from the one and only Scottie McCall.

„Uff… Hey buddy…” Stiles wheezes while clapping his best friend on his back. „Wolfie hugging a scrawny human here, Scottie. Don’t try to strangle this human being with your strength.”

„Mmh… It’s good to see you again!” Scott says into his neck before letting him out of his hug to take a deep breath of air. „You too, Derek” Then he moves to hug him, and wow he lets it happen, even if it’s a lot shorter.

„It’s good to see you too, Scott.” Well ok, Derek’s not the same grumpy don’t-hug-me-if-you-don’t-want-to-have-your-throat-ripped-out but he’s never going to be the guy to hug everyone of his friend just to _hug_ them. That’s preserved for Stiles!

„Happy Birthday, Stiles!” Kira smiles at him and clutches him to her as tightly, she is a lot stronger than one might think just by seeing her small body.

„Thanks!” He mumbles into her neck, hugging her back.

He moves to Derek’s side to let them in.

 „We saw each other yesterday at the library, Scott!” He kindly reminds Scott of him visiting Stiles at the job after he got off at the animal clinic, while moving to the dining table.

„Yeah, but I’m still happy to see you!” Smiling his puppy smile he squeezed Stiles’ shoulder.

„Aww, I missed you, too.”

They are interrupted in their _confessions_ by cooing coming from Kira as they sit at the table. „You two are just too adorable to watch!”

While Scott just smiles and shoots her a look with his heart-eyes, Stiles groans and hits his head on the table top, thankfully far enough away from the cutlery. He stills as he hear Kira’s sweet laughter and Derek’s laugh next to him.

„I will not say anything to you guys laughing at me.” He pouts, still staring down at the table.

„We love you too, Stiles.” Kira supplies with a chuckle.

„Yes, we love you.” Derek’s voice is right beside his ear – how did he get there without him noticing? Oh yeah, werewolf, he thinks – before kissing his cheek.

„I love you, too” He mumbles, raising his head, completely aware how his face is still burning, but he decides to not care.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Teen Wolf or the characters.


End file.
